how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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