You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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