Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
