You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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