i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
