"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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