Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
