8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
