No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
