My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wish you could order shots online.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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