There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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