I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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