i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
