so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
