I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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