she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
