I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
is it fun? or sober?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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