Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
