you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
