Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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