Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
