wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
