dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
