so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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