my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
