nut hugger
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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