i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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