I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
