I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
