I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
