he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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