My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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