i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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