i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
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