I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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