If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
