I want to stick my p in your. b.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
