it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
