I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
