if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
