My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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