so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
