my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
