I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
