Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
