You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
