She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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