Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
