no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
