Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
