no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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