we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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